We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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