My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
