grandma shit on top of the toilet
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
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