i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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