Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she smelled like a LAN party
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
