chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
