3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
