Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
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I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
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