therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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