I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
