You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
