i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
