idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize