What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
