She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
