I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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