before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
