One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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