i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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