wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
