im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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