did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize