dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize