I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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