i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
