By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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