And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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