its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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