Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
