if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
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