I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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