So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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