Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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