you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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