I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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