the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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