We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
