I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
