Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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