Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
