I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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