could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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