I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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