You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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