are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she looked like the before picture.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
