she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
