you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
