we made out on top of his cat.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
