You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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