Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you never un-have a 4some
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
