so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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