I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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