some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
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No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
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I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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