best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
