Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
