Moan for me like Helen Keller
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
