I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
