Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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