Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
