i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
