there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
