so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
