The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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