maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
