white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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