Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
