Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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