i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
